At 30s, sex feels so incredibly good, your whole body gets hot and waves of pleasure wash over you. It is amazing.
But when you are single, without a sex mate around to fulfill your sexual needs, that feeling can easily be replaced by a stench of frustration.
I like reading influential books to pass time when I’m bored. If it’s a novel, it will be science fiction or mystical than a romance.
On this particular day, I was reading Edwin Lefevre’s novel, Reminiscences of a Stock Operator, when I suddenly felt a throb in between my leg. My nipples were thick. My fingers were shaky. My thighs were wet.
And my cunt? Oh boy! they tickled like a jellyfish out of water.
I couldn’t imagine why or how a non-fiction book of the boring life of a stock trader could have such an exhilarating effect on my body. To the point, I became restless sitting on the cushion.
There are no sex scenes in this book unless you count financial securities and exchanges as sexy. I immediately sprang up to my feet.
Like a headless chicken, I tried to wrap my head around the situation. I was resisting myself from running off to my room and pulling out my dildo from my wardrobe.
“Be quiet pussy!” I yelled.
The sound of my own voice tickled my ear. I was shocked and confused.
What was happening to me?
Surely, a lame-ass book can’t possibly be the reason my body is acting up. My senses were down. In that intricate desire, I was vulnerable.
Hell, I was high as fuck!
I needed something to shut down my brain. To stop me from imagining what was running through that pesky head of mine.
I tried to recall my workout session that morning. I thought about the stocks I was planning to buy over the week. What I was going to cook for dinner.
But, it didn’t help. Instead, my mind drifted off to a fantasy land.
I stood by the window. I felt my cheeks turn red at his gaze. Heat blazed in his eyes as they locked onto mine. It warmed me inside, pulled me to him like gravity, and I took a few steps forward.
As if he knew I was waiting for this moment. He quickly pulls me closer and wraps his arms around my waist.
His kiss was passionate.
I clung to him, unable to stand on my own as his lips moved deftly over my throat, kissing and nibbling. The scent of him engulfed my mind, making it impossible for me to think clearly.
Maybe I didn’t want to think at all. I have waited and longed for his touch. His kiss went from sweetly intense to painfully intense and almost bruising my lips.
I was lost, drowning in an ocean of pleasure. I felt like I was floating in the air. My feet no longer touching the ground. He pinned my hands above my head.
Desire and hunger shot through his eyes, and he pressed his lips to mine. His hands caressed me to great heights that were both terrifying and exciting. A strange feeling of excitement and impatience overtakes my being.
I wanted him to go deeper. I wrapped my arms at the back of my head and deepened the kiss, thrusting him closer as if he wasn’t close enough. He got the message.
All rational thoughts fled my head, and my body became alive.
Before I could protest, I heard the tearing sound of fabric. I quickly opened my eye. It was my bed sheet. I have been daydreaming.
Furious, I stormed into my room, picked my dildo, and hit the shower to finish what I had started.
This was one of those times when I was dreaded being single. You miss out on erotic sex when you want it. All you can do is daydream and fantasize in your lonesome.
It was not the first time. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve bit my lip or knocked my leg against something while daydreaming.
But this time, it was strange.
I have not exposed my mind to sexual thoughts that would take me to wonderland.
So I did a little digging and here is what I discovered about sudden increase in libido in women.
Increase libido after menopause without hormones
After I asked some of my 30-year-old friends if they felt like this, they almost attacked me; they were so excited.
Their response was, “Oh my God, yes!” “Things are very hot now” and “Totally; it’s strange.”
A common thread with all of us is that we have children in the middle or adolescent stage; our children are definitely more independent, which gives us more energy.
Women with older children are also not touched or thrown all day. They can spend more time on self-care, which makes them happier.
These things make sense, of course, but I wondered if there is something else going on in the female body with our hormones at this age.
It turns out that middle-aged women are more likely to satisfy numerous sexual desires than girls in their twenties.
Experts say, as women approach menopause, their hormone levels drop and peak at different times. Estrogen starts to drop, and when testosterone stabilizes, it’s like testosterone rises, i.e., higher libido.
Also, as a woman ages, she may become more comfortable with her sexuality or, in some cases, if she has not had a child, there may be an increased desire to procreate, increasing her libido.
Increased libido after menopause
The question of who has a more sexual desire is not just about gender. It also depends on our views on libido. We tend to think of it as a spontaneous hormonal drive, like thirst or hunger.
However, research in sexology shows that this is an outdated way of looking at libido, at least if the idea is attributed to women.
In fact, sexual desire can be spontaneous, responsive, or a mix of the two. Spontaneous libido is what we are most used to. It is a sensation that comes out of nowhere, in the middle of a meal or a walk.
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While responsive desire, is a reaction to our physical arousal. It must be triggered by something, perhaps a sexual fantasy, a strangely attractive look, or a sensual touch, for a responsive desire to occur.
In general, men are more inclined to a spontaneous desire style, while women are more inclined to a responsive desire style.
When women choose their partner, their idea of connection is not limited only to sex.
Once they have sex with their partners, women are more likely to fulfill all their sexual desires with the same man.
Love and commitment can make sex physically more satisfying for many women. Those who loved their sexual partners also said they felt less inhibited and more willing to explore their sexuality.
It is perfectly normal for your libido to fluctuate and there will be times (days, weeks, months, years) when your libido is higher than normal.
Your own awareness of different sexual desires can influence your sex life in a positive way. This knowledge helps you remember that sometimes even when you are mentally neutral about sex, it is still worth asking your partner to have sex with you.
Thanks to your hormones, the more you have great sex, the more your body craves it.