They say if you want to know a man’s true character, give him three things — money, fame, and influence.
Money comes with fame, and when you become famous, you tend to influence a lot of people. It feels great to be influential, so much so that an emotionally immature man tends to lose focus.
Well, this is true for men who take advantage of women’s loyalty. Men who abandon the women who stood by them through tough times, when they had no money or fame.
We call these women “come up women.” These women invest emotional, financial, and physical resources in building up their men.
But, instead of being rewarded for their love and support, they get dumped for someone more subtle.
Black men revealed they date their preferred women after they become successful. When they are poor, they date women who provide their needs since they can contribute little or nothing to the relationship.
These men intentionally stay with women who are not their type — pretending they will marry them knowing they’re unfit for them.
So it’s okay to lead her on while you are broke, then when you become financially made, she ceases to be your type?
Why don’t these men go for their preferred women from the start, rather than lead the come-up woman on?
The truth is they do not match the levels of their preferred women. They won’t be able to receive sex, have children, or have maternal undying love from women of their preference because they are insufficient.
These men may thing they are smart. But the reality is that they are low value and ungrateful.
Poverty hides a person’s true character because when you are poor and unable to provide for yourself, you generally depend on others for assistance.
Lack of money is one of the reasons why many people are humble today. And is about time women started to read between the lines.
Why do women feel obligated to help their men progress in life?
Women have been brainwashed to be responsible for their men for over 12,000 years. Patriarchal society commands women to support and assist men in all their work.
Rigid gender roles often result in the expectation that women will be submissive to male relatives.
In marriage, women are expected to obey their husbands, act according to their wishes, and not fight for equitable decision-making.
But the most important duties are serving their husbands and having and raising their children.
Even to date, some women still uphold these rules.
Male entitlement is embedded in everything in society: our interpersonal relationships, work dynamics, popular culture, the media, the educational system, etc.
We must refuse to normalize male entitlement. Men are not owed access to women’s bodies. They are not entitled to have sex with women.
Men have no right to a woman’s body, affection, time, or conversation, no matter what.
Warning signs you’re dating a low-value man
You must be familiar with this proverb, “Behind every successful man is a great woman.”
This may be intended to give the woman some credit for her man’s success, rather it says that the success is his, not hers, and she should not be standing next to him, but behind him in a supporting role, silently and unseen.
This literally means that a woman has played an important role when a man has been successful.
Unfortunately, men have jeopardized women’s trust and loyal. It’s about time women stopped playing second fiddle and focused more on building themselves up instead of their men.
If you ever spot these signs, you must know an entitled man is using you as a come-up woman.
He chooses sex over commitments
Men are groomed to be entitled to a woman’s body. We don’t belong to anyone but ourselves. Our bodies are not a tool for entertaining masculine egos. If your man is all about sex and not showing interest in wanting to be with you for the long haul, you should rethink where you stand with him.
He body shames you
I once wrote about a friend whose boyfriend would have her strip naked so he would criticize her body. And I advised her to dump the dude immediately.
Save yourself the trouble of sticking with such men. You deserve someone who cares for you exactly as you are. Do not go back to him when you dump him, even if he says he’s changed. You can find someone better.
He repeatedly says you deserve better men than him
Call me stupid; I don’t care. But if a man tells me “I deserve someone better than him,” I will take it as a message that he doesn’t deserve me. No man in his right senses will want to lose a woman he loves and cherish even if he can’t afford to provide for all her needs.
Ladies, men say what they feel. And if he verbally tells you to go seek someone else, take that statement for what it is.
He wants you to be his “ride or die chic”
This one should be easy. He wants you to be his mama, friend, lover, wife, and slave. The ride-or-die chic can tolerate anything without complaining. She defends her man even if she’s hurting.
I’m selfish to know when a relationship isn’t serving my purpose. So no! I won’t advise any woman to tolerate and stick with men who disrespect them.
He wants you to be his baby mama
Ok, let’s be clear on one thing. Unless you are ready to have a baby and take care of the baby by yourself, you shouldn’t allow your man to make this decision for you. Some women would prefer to be married before having a child, but they compromise their choices and settle for men who just want kids with them.
You should know most men don’t value their baby mamas. So if your man wants you to be his baby mama, you should know what you are up against. He may be trapping you into a relationship he can easily walk on if his social and financial status improves.
He doesn’t have a problem with you dating other men
There’s no problem in dating multiple partners if you are in an open relationship. But if you are not, it will be wise to end your feelings for a man who is willing to share your love and body with another man.
People in love are often jealous. So if your man isn’t bothered that his asset is accessible to everyone else, it’s a sign you are not a woman deserving of his love and loyalty.
Some women fall in love too fast and too deep, then start playing house with their boyfriend. Eventually, when things get messy, they find it hard to leave.
We have to be more strategic in the way we date. We have to be less tolerant of certain actions and behaviors from men.
Ladies, stop settling for men who treat you like trash. Stop accepting unrequited love. You owe no one your love, body, trust, or loyalty.
Gone are the days when men used to give up their safety and comfort for their wives and children. When men died defending women’s honor.
Surely, we don’t want them to die for us, and we certainly don’t want them to take advantage of us. So date men who are leveled up or at least willing to level up on their own.
If a man’s true character can only be known when he’s successful, I see no reason you should sacrifice a muscle-building up a man.