Jumping into a new relationship as quickly as the previous one ends is my psychological form of therapy.
I don’t do breakups so well. I feel broken when I let a breakup linger. I get paranoid and vengeful after a breakup.
There are things I did when my previous relationships ended that I don’t wish to repeat, ever. For some people, rebounds are a bad idea. But for me, it’s a healing mechanism.
A rebound relationship involves someone entering a new relationship before they have moved on from their previous partner, effectively replacing the old partner with a new one.
There is a popular opinion that rebound relationships are doomed to fail. The relationship moves in a rush, leaving the new partner no time to figure out if they have anything in common to build a sustainable partnership.
While this may be true, there are still benefits to be gained from a rebound relationship. The biggest risk is that the new relationship is simply used as a way to avoid emotions and feelings related to the previous one, as was often the case in mine.
The problem here is that these feelings often have a way of working themselves out anyway, creating instability in any new relationship.
Some people may not realize that they are in a rebound relationship until their partner’s unresolved emotions start to unravel. To save yourself any further heartbreak, watch out for these signs that prove that you may be on the wrong side of a rebound.
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They keep things casual
Most people in a rebound relationship would like to take things slow. They may avoid emotional connection because of fear of getting hurt again.
When you are on the wrong side of the rebound, you may have a hard time understanding your partner. You may walk on eggshells to avoid triggering their anger. The relationship is often that of sadness and regret.
Because the rebounder has no intention to be with you for long. As a result, they will make little effort to facilitate emotional bonding. If the relationship seems extremely casual or is all about sex, you may be just a rebound.
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They compare you with their exs
You will never get enough of “if it were my ex-girlfriend or wife,” “my ex-boyfriend or husband wouldn’t,” and the likes. The constant comparison between you and their ex can be daunting.
Call me paranoid, this is why I don’t feel uncomfortable dating a man who is friends with his ex. That ‘ish’ between them will somehow get me to react.
If he’s talking about her all the time, even when they are not friends, then there’s a chance he’s still hung up on old feelings.
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They feel unattractive about themselves
Some people will stop caring for their bodies once a relationship ends. They feel there is no one to show off for.
Most rebounders will show signs of emotional instability. They feel inadequate and doubt they are worthy of love and affection. Their low self-esteem can impede your life and destroy intimacy in the relationship.
From my observation and personal experience, rebounders will tell you they are not good enough for you. That you would be better of with a partner serving of you, and that isn’t them. If you hear similar lines like this, that’s a sign the relationship is headed for doom.
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They display different emotional triggers
Rebounders are on a quest to silence their pain. By getting straight into another relationship without taking time to heal, they become an emotional time bomb. Any little thing can trigger feelings of anger, anxiety, guilt, resentment, etc.
When we don’t leave room to develop insight about why a relationship didn’t work, what we did wrong, what were the red flags we ignored, take the time to heal and lick the wounds of our bruised egos, we tend to use our next relationship in unhealthy ways.
If your notice your partner has mood swings regularly, don’t try to pacify them. Allow them to calm down at their own pace before you can talk to them. You should know breakups tend to bring out people’s true character. So if the rebounds display signs of violence, it may be time to check out of the ship.
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They stay emotionally unattached
Don’t you find it strange that you and your partner only contact each other when you’re feeling down and don’t seem to have anything in common outside of your mutual attraction?
One sign that you are in a rebound relationship is that they don’t communicate much, and when they do, they keep the conversation superficial.
They don’t want to know your middle name, anything about your childhood, or that difficult time you went through. They stick to topics that don’t require vulnerability, sensitivity, or care, and most or all of your dates will be spent at home, away from the public eye.
Parting words
If any of these signs reflect in your relationship, ask your self “what do you want from the relationship?”
If your partner is on a rebound, they may not be clear about their intentions. So you should focus on your expectations.
Some people do not have a problem keeping a fling with a rebounder. If you are one of them, then, by all means, give it a ride. You have nothing to lose after all.
