No matter what your reason is for having sex, you want to avoid bedroom failure. We all want to be satisfied when we have sex. However, more often than not, sex ends up being horrible.

Sometimes, a potential relationship is ruined by sex. Anyone can talk a good game when it comes to sex, but there really isn’t a better way to figure out if you’d be a good fit with someone in the bedroom without actually having sex with them.

What makes sex great?

When it comes to sexual satisfaction, there is no single definition. According to sexually fulfilled couples, sex shouldn’t be restricted to the bedroom only.

Sex is not just about experimenting and exploring physically, with toys and new techniques, but also about going beyond the confines of the bedroom.

Although most women feel sexually satisfied when they orgasm. For others, they feel satisfied if the sex leads to a long-term relationship. They want to build and maintain love and happiness with the person they sleep with.

In other words, sexual satisfaction includes feelings of trust, security, and control- basically, feeling like you can let go during sex.

People feel sexually satisfied when they are emotionally close and connected to their sexual partners.

Regardless of how good your partner is in bed, they may not satisfy your desire as much as you want. This is because your sexual pleasure is your responsibility and not your partner’s. And if you need a little help with optimizing your sexual pleasure, here are five tips to get you started.

Read more: How to Avoid Premature Ejaculation And Last Longer in The Bedroom

Awaken your inner lover

Great sex always begins with self-pleasure. Self-sex is a great way to familiarize your body. We can’t expect others to pleasure us and understand our bodies if we don’t know what gives us pleasure.

Some people don’t touch themselves. They feel ashamed to do so because of the negative sexual orientation they grew up with.

But if you want to enjoy a healthy sex life, you must learn to get acquainted with your body. Masturbation makes you get to know your delicious body better. You will know what you like so you can show it to the other person.

So start exploring your body, touch yourself, love your body and get comfortable having sex with yourself.

Minimize daily life stressors

We are so stressed and strung out in our daily life that it’s beginning to affect our libido and our drive to be intimate and connect with our partners.

Typically we have stress at home, stress in our relationship, stress at work, and stress with our health. Our body is working overtime, all the time, and we never actually allow our brakes to kick in.

Some people are in jobs they do not enjoy or are working hours that are just ludicrous. They don’t have time to care for themselves —  to be by themselves and just relax.

Stress affects our libido. When we are stressed our body decommissions our sex drive. You begin to feel irritated by the presence of the people you love. However, stress can be managed by identifying and fixing the sources.

Read more: 5 Signs Your Boyfriend Doesn’t See a Future with You

Be more interactive with your partner

Communication is the foundation of anything great in life, not just sex.

If we are able to communicate our desires, reveal what sex provides, and express how we feel within ourselves and about our partners, we will better understand ourselves and our partners, and they will understand us too.

This means there will be less assumption, less expectation and less shame around sex with ourselves and our partners.

Being good at sex is a learned behavior, not something we just instinctively know how to do. Without good sexual communication, there is a high likelihood of unsatisfying sex.

Encourage polarity in the bedroom

Polarity is that unmistakable magnetic chemistry we feel when we meet someone with energy that opposes our own.

Each of us has both masculine and feminine energy within us as men and as women. Being masculine does not necessarily have to be male, and feminine does not equal being female.

But in order to have deep sexual pleasure, there needs to be a polarity between these two energies. There needs to be a ravisher and a ravishee.

This means one person needs to be more masculine- to be in control. While the other person should be more feminine, more open and receiving, surrendering to the masculine energy.

When these two opposing energies come together, it causes fireworks, a deep ecstasy, and pleasure.

Read more: 5 Types of Women Every Man Wants to Date

Worship and adore your partner

Worshiping is about serving with your body and making your partner feel treasured. It’s about seeing your partner for who they are and honoring every bit of their body.

The two sacred act of worship is pussy worship and the cock worship. Worshiping your partners is not just about getting them to orgasm. It’s not about being sexy.

Most women want to be opened slowly and deeply, to have their partner move with reverence through the inner gateways and the pleasure spot. This is what worshiping is.

It’s about being appreciative of their importance in your life. And ensuring you satisfy their emotional and physical needs.

Be present and feel your breath

A lot of people are in their heads when they are having sex. Women worry about the shape of their pussy, how it smells, or the many chores they need to do. While men worry about their cook size or the stressful day they had.

When you are making love, try to be in the moment. Let go of the stress of life and everything happening around you.

Feeling your breath and that of your partner helps you stay in the moment. You can focus on the 4 core sensors for better sex. We have four sexual sensors in our body, the pussy and cock are the sex center, the tummy is our intuition, then the heart and head centers are the messengers.

When you give in to all 4 centers during sex, there is deep strong resonance energy between you and your partner. When you two have a yes in all 4 centers, ecstatic sex happens.

Read more: 4 Reasons Why Dating Younger Guys Is Better

Be adventurous and curious

Sex can become stale and boring. To avoid boring sex you need to have an open attitude towards sex, stay curious and be open to adventure.

Some couples over sixty, that have maintained long healthy relationships say they keep things playful and they are open to new experiences. They don’t do the same thing every day. It’s easy to get into a routine when you repeat the same thing very often.

So I encourage you to take up a challenge. Dare your partner to do things that are new and exciting and revel in the pleasure.